LarryBoy and the Emperor of Envy Read online

  Junior nodded.

  “What are you doing here, anyway?” asked the editor.

  “I’m turning in my front-page story on Larryboy’s capture of the Milk Money Bandit,” Junior replied.

  Everyone suddenly heard a loud beep, much like that of a microwave oven. Bob looked to the corner of the office where Larry, the janitor, was mopping.

  “I didn’t notice you there,” said Bob.

  “Excuse me, but I think your mop is beeping,” said Junior.

  “Time to mop the closet,” Larry said, dashing out of the room.

  “Did that cucumber have a timer in his mop?” asked Bob.

  “Now that’s keeping to a tight cleaning schedule!” marveled Vicki.

  CHAPTER 6

  ARCHIE CALLING

  Larry quickly ducked into the hall closet. After checking to make sure he was alone, he stuck his head into the mop. The seemingly plain mop had a video screen built into the strands. Archibald appeared on the screen.

  “Hello, Archie,” said Larry.

  “Greetings, Master Larry,” said Archibald. “How is your job at the newspaper?”

  “I’m glad you brought that up,” said Larry. “I still don’t understand why I have to be a janitor. I am a world-famous superhero!”

  That was true. For Larry, the janitor, was also Larryboy, the superhero!

  “Let me explain it again,” said his trusted friend. “By working at the newspaper, you can learn about criminal activity the moment it is reported.”

  “Couldn’t I just watch BNN, the Bumblyburg News Network?”

  “And sit around the house all day?” asked Archibald. “No, being at the Bumble is much better.”

  “Sounds like you are trying to get me out of the house,” Larry laughed.

  “Maybe we should change the subject,” Archibald quickly interrupted. “I have important information for you!”

  “Me too!” said Larry excitedly. “I learned something really important while cleaning the editor’s office.”

  “I told you the janitor job would pay off,” said Archibald. “What did you learn?”

  “They’re giving out free Slushees at Mister Slushee today!”

  “Oh, I see,” said his partner.

  “So what’s your important information?” asked Larry.

  “I wanted to warn you that your archenemy, Emperor Napoleon of Crime and Other Bad Stuff, has been spotted near Bumblyburg.”

  “The Emperor near Bumblyburg? That is important news. How did you hear about it?”

  “Well, er …” said Archibald. “Actually, I saw it on BNN.”

  “Hmmm,” said Larry. “Well, I had better make plans to deal with the Emperor. And you know what helps a cucumber make good plans?”

  “What?” asked Archibald.

  “Free Slushees! Toodles!”

  Larry clicked off the videophone and pulled the mop off of his head. Whistling, he stepped out of the closet and bounded down the hall. Junior and Vicki were passing by the closet.

  “It sounded like the janitor was mumbling to himself in the closet,” said Junior.

  “He is a strange one,” said Vicki. “But he sure is good with a plunger!”

  CHAPTER 7

  THE PLOT (AND THE SLUSHEE) THICKENS

  It was pandemonium outside Mister Slushee. It seemed as if the entire town was trying to get in for their free Slushees! Chief Croswell blocked the door.

  “Hold on, everyone,” he said. “You know that Mister Slushee doesn’t open for business for another ten minutes. Until that time, we can’t let anybody in.”

  “Ohhhhh!” groaned the crowd.

  The Emperor and his henchmen were hiding in the alley next to the Slushee shop.

  “Did you hear that?” asked Frank. “With Chief Croswell blocking the door, we can’t get into the shop so we can pour the Envy Formula into the Slushee machine, thus ensuring that everyone in Bumblyburg drinks the formula!”

  “Good job at bringing the reader up to speed,” said Jesse.

  “What reader?” asked Frank.

  “Never mind that,” said the Emperor. “I can get past Chief Croswell. You two stand next to the back door.”

  “But the door is locked,” said Frank.

  “I know that,” said the Emperor. “I will unlock it from the inside.”

  “But how will you get past Chief Croswell?” asked Jesse.

  “I will use my superpower!” declared the cherry tomato.

  “Cool,” said Jesse.

  “Neat,” said Frank.

  “What superpower?” asked Jesse.

  The Emperor shook his head.

  “Weren’t you paying attention in supervillain school?” he asked. “All supervillains are either mad geniuses or have superpowers.”

  “What kind of powers?” asked Frank.

  “You know,” said the Emperor. “Like super strength, or super speed, or the ability to fly.”

  “Wow! What’s your superpower?”

  “When I hold my breath,” explained the villain, “I become very, very small.”

  “You’re already are very, very small,” said Jesse.

  “I become even smaller!” yelled the Emperor. “Watch!”

  The Emperor held his breath. Then he began shrinking! Soon he was almost too small to see.

  “That is small,” said Jesse.

  “You said it,” agreed Frank.

  The Emperor let out his breath and grew back to normal size.

  “When I’m tiny, I can slip right past Chief Croswell without being seen.”

  “You can usually slip by most people without being seen,” Jesse observed.

  The Emperor growled and said, “Go stand by the back door and wait for me!”

  Then he held his breath and shrunk down to a miniscule size. He hopped around the corner and headed for the shop’s front door. Chief Croswell was a giant from his point of view!

  The Emperor easily slid through underneath the door and into the shop. Once inside, he let out his breath. Back to full size, he gleefully ran and opened the back door.

  “Get in here,” he said to his henchmen.

  Frank and Jesse lumbered into the shop. The Emperor made his way to the Slushee machine. He took out the vial of blue liquid.

  “Now, if one of you would be so kind as to pour this vial into the Slushee machine,” he said, “then when everyone eats their free Slushees, they will be infected with the Envy Formula!”

  “Why don’t you dump it in?” asked Jesse.

  “I’m not tall enough to reach the opening,” said the Emperor. “That’s why I need your help.”

  “Why don’t you grow back to full size?” asked Jesse.

  “I am full size,” barked the Emperor.

  “Why don’t I stop talking now,” said Jesse.

  “That would be a good idea!”

  Frank took the vial from the Emperor and poured it into the Slushee machine.

  “Good work!” said the Emperor. “Now, let’s sneak out the back so no one will suspect a thing. Then all we need to do is wait until everyone has slurped a Slushee. At that moment, we can march on Bumblyburg!”

  “Can we stop by my house first?” asked Jesse. “If we’re going to be marching, I want to be wearing comfortable shoes.”

  “Just go!” yelled the Emperor.

  Emperor Napoleon of Crime and Other Bad Stuff led his henchmen out the back door, laughing maniacally.

  CHAPTER 8

  THE SLUSHEE CONTEST

  When Chief Croswell opened the doors, the citizens of Bumblyburg stampeded into the shop. Wally helped Herbert work the Slushee machine, pouring out Slushee after Slushee. The shop was packed with vegetables.

  “You were right,” Vicki said to Bob. “This is a big story.”

  “I can’t believe all these people,” Bob said.

  “Why not, Chief?” asked Vicki.

  “You’d have to be very silly to get this excited about a Slushee contest.”

  “Loo
k, there’s Larry, our janitor,” Vicki said.

  “My point is proven!”

  Larry was sitting with Junior at the far end of the counter.

  “This is exciting,” said Junior.

  “Free Slushees!” said Larry.

  “It looks like the whole town is here,” said Junior.

  “Free Slushees!” said Larry.

  “I bet I could write a great story about this,” said Junior. “Even if some people think I’m not grown up enough to be a real reporter.”

  “Free Slushees!” responded Larry.

  “My dad says God made me special, just the way I am—and that I’ll be grown up when I’m good and ready,” Junior said. “But I want to be a grown-up right now!”

  “Free Slushees!” said Larry.

  Chief Croswell hopped onto the counter and tried to get everyone’s attention.

  “Attention!” he shouted.

  Wally let out a loud whistle, and everyone quieted down.

  “Thank you, Wally,” said the chief. “Welcome to Mister Slushee’s Slushee-Slurping Contest. I have been asked to officiate today’s event.”

  “What’s ‘o-fish-he-ate’?” asked Larry.

  “‘O-fish-she-ate.’ It means ‘judge,’” said Junior.

  “Poor fish,” said Larry.

  “Everyone who wants to compete must sit at the counter,” explained the chief.

  Herbert and Wally had finished filling up the counter with cup after cup of Slushee. They moved away from the Slushee machine and squeezed into two chairs. Larry and Junior already had seats, as did Officers Boysen and Blue, Laura, Lenny, and several others.

  “You should compete!” encouraged Vicki.

  “Don’t be silly,” said Bob.

  “It’s a great idea,” Vicki said, with a wink. “Get a firsthand angle for the story.”

  “But I always get a brain freeze,” Bob complained.

  “Come on,” Vicki teased. “A little Slushee isn’t going to hurt you. Besides, if you eat it slowly enough, you won’t get a headache.”

  “Eat slowly in a slurping contest?”

  “Get up there, big guy.” Vicki nudged Bob up to the counter.

  “Okay, contestants,” announced Chief Croswell. “When I say, ‘Go,’ grab a Slushee cup and start slurping! When you finish a cup, take another. When this alarm clock beeps, the contest will be over! Any questions?”

  “Where are the straws?” asked Bob.

  Laughter rang through the shop.

  “There are no straws in a Mister Slushee Slushee-Slurping Contest,” explained the chief. “Just stick your face into the Slushee and slurp.”

  “But isn’t that a little messy?” asked Bob.

  “Ready?” asked the chief.

  “Couldn’t I at least get a spoon?” moaned Bob.

  “Set,” the chief called.

  “This is so embarrassing,” said Bob.

  “Slurp!” shouted Chief Croswell.

  The contestants stuck their faces into their Slushee cups. Bob sighed, pursed his lips, puckered up, and put his face to a cup.

  “While they race, the rest of us also get to enjoy Slushees too” said Chief Croswell. “Free Slushees for everyone!”

  The chief hopped to the back of the counter and started filling Slushee cups. He passed the cups around until everyone in the shop was busy slurping.

  CHAPTER 9

  TEN MINUTES LATER, OR “I DON’T BELIEVE I SLURPED THE WHOLE THING!”

  BEEP!

  The alarm clock on the counter went off. Larry’s head shot up.

  “Hello, Archie?” he said.

  “Time!” Chief Croswell called out.

  The contestants lifted their heads from their Slushees. They all had multicolored stains on their faces. Chief Croswell moved down the counter, counting empty Slushee cups.

  “Five Slushees for Larry! Three for Junior! Six for the Berry brothers, Officers Boysen and Blue!”

  The Berry brothers smiled a raspberry-strawberry and banana-grape smile.

  “Only one for Bob,” announced Chief Croswell.

  “And I still got a headache,” he grumbled.

  “Sixteen for Herbert!”

  “Sixteen?” asked Larry. “That’s a lot of Slushee!”

  “Wait,” said Chief Croswell. Wally might have more empty cups.”

  The chief counted and then recounted, holding each cup up to make sure it was empty.

  “Seventeen cups! Wally wins!”

  “Hooray!” shouted the crowd.

  “Urp!” belched Wally.

  The chief pulled a large trophy from behind the counter.

  “Wally, in honor of your amazing appetite, I award you this Mister Slushee Slushee-Slurping Trophy!”

  He handed the trophy to Wally.

  “I wish I had a big trophy like Wally,” said Herbert.

  “Me too,” said Officers Boysen and Blue.

  “I would be much happier with a trophy like his,” said Officer Blue.

  “Not as happy as I would be!” insisted Officer Boysen.

  “You know what would make me happier?” asked Bob. “If I had a lot of reporters on my staff, like all the big-town papers have.”

  “Where did that come from?” asked Vicki.

  “I don’t know,” said Bob. “It just came out.”

  “Well, come to think of it,” Vicki continued, “I would be happier if I had a brand-new digital camera, like the big-shot photographers have.”

  Suddenly everybody started talking at once.

  “I wish I had a pony, like Margo has,” said Laura.

  “I want Harry’s new Larryboy action figure,” said Lenny.

  “I wish I was grown up like, well, like grown-ups,” whined Junior.

  The whole shop was full of “I wish” and “I want” and “I’d rather.” Envy was filling the shop! Suddenly, the door burst open and a loud laugh was heard. The crowd shushed and turned to the door. There, in the doorway, they saw …

  Nothing.

  CHAPTER 10

  THE EMPEROR’S ENTRANCE

  “Down here! I’m down here!”

  Everyone shifted their gaze down and saw the Emperor standing on the threshold!

  “I have come to take over Bumblyburg,” announced the Emperor.

  The crowd looked at the small menace and began laughing.

  “Oh, yeah?” said Chief Croswell. “You and what army?”

  “Me and this army,” said the villain as he stepped aside to make room for his henchmen.

  Frank and Jesse lumbered in through the door. “Those two? They’re your army?” chuckled Bob. Everyone laughed again.

  “Officers Boysen and Blue,” said Chief Croswell, “take these scoundrels into custody.”

  “I wish I had an army like you have,” said Officer Blue.

  “Even a couple of deputies would be nice,” agreed Officer Boysen.

  “Boysen! Blue!” snapped the chief.

  “Right! You are all under arrest!” Officer Blue pronounced. But as he stepped forward, he stumbled and fell to the floor, with Office Boysen stumbling right behind him.

  “What’s wrong with the Berry brothers?” asked Junior.

  “I don’t know,” said a stunned Officer Boysen.

  “I don’t feel very good,” Blue mumbled from the floor.

  “I don’t feel very good either,” said Herbert.

  “Do you think it’s from slurping too many Slushees?” asked Wally.

  “You can never have too many Slushees,” Herbert replied.

  “Hah!” gloated the Emperor. “You are all too weak to stand up to me! You laugh at my height! You laugh at my army! Well, who’s laughing now?”

  “You are, boss,” said Jesse.

  “I know I am. That’s my point.”

  “Oh.”

  “To make sure no one interferes, my troops will tuck you all safely away in jail. Then Bumblyburg will be mine! While you sit in jail wishing for things you can’t have, I am going to
make all my wishes come true!”

  “Wait!” said Chief Croswell weakly. “Aren’t you forgetting about Larryboy? When he hears about this, you will be sorry!”

  At the far end of the counter, Larry began thinking.

  I wish I was Larryboy, he mused to himself. “Wait a minute. I am that hero!”

  Larry hopped off his chair and snuck out through the back door.

  CHAPTER 11

  GOOD BATTLES EVIL

  “Stop, vile villain!” Larryboy shouted.

  He had reemerged from the back alley. He was now dressed in his full Larryboy costume. The Emperor and his henchmen froze.

  “What do we do now?” asked Jesse.

  “He doesn’t look weak,” said Frank. “What if he didn’t have any Slushees?”

  The Emperor looked worried for a moment. Then he smiled.

  “Look at his face, boys,” he said.

  Larryboy had a red-purple-green Slushee stain around his mouth!

  “Okay, superhero,” the Emperor said. “You got me. Before you take me in, may I ask you a question?”

  “Sure,” said Larryboy.

  “Isn’t there anything that someone else has that you wish you had?” asked the villain. “Like a toy, or a car, or a special skill?”

  “A kitty-cat, maybe?” suggested Frank.

  “Or an octopus?” added Jesse.

  “Octopus?” asked Frank.

  “I like octopuses,” said Jesse.

  “Don’t you mean octopi?” asked Frank.

  “No thanks,” said Jesse. “I don’t like pie. But I do wish I had a piece of cake.”

  “Gentlemen, please!” shouted the Emperor. “Well, Larryboy? Can’t you think of anything?”

  Larryboy thought for a moment.

  “Now that you mention it,” he said, “I would like to have a shield like American Pie has. That was nifty. Round and sturdy. And boy, that thing could fly!”

  “Ahem.” Vicki cleared her throat. “Larryboy, aren’t you in the middle of doing something important?”

  “That’s right,” said Larryboy. “Okay, villains, let’s go!”

  “I’ve changed my mind,” smirked the Emperor. “You will have to take us by force.”